Obsessed.

All I can think about is rugby.

Rugby rugby rugby.

I have my first game tomorrow and I
am
so
excited!

I'm pretty sure everyone is sick of talking to me, because it's all I can seem to talk about.
I bought everything I need today (and may or may not shamelessly try it all on before I go to bed tonight) and AM READY.

OOH RAH!

9 am warm up
10 am start
4 pm practice number 2

SO MUCH RUGBY.
AHH.

LOVE IT.

READY? READY? READY? UP! (the rugby post, you all knew it was coming)

Rugby, yes.

I am part of the OUWRFC, or the Oxford University Women's Rugby Club. Pretty fantastic. Here's the website: http://www.ouwrfc.co.uk/

our logo

Anyway, we practice Monday and Thursday night with two rugby-brute-esque male coaches who enjoy playing good cop/bad cop. We play come anything; rain or shine, blood or guts, ice or fire. Then, we typically have fitness Saturday mornings, and our games are Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings (#winning).

Our practices consist of Al (the big, bad cop) pretending we're not that funny and swearing at us to pay attention and muttering that no matter what he has to say to us he promises he's not being perverse ("spread your legs, girls!" "You, play hooker." "WIDER!" "HARDER!").

Once Al has sufficiently exerted his manliness on all of us giggling girls and we've warmed up, we typically do agility and dynamic drills. Al's new favourite is the "FOW SIDED SQUAHRE!" Really, Al... does a square have four sides? One of the Freshers remarked that the name was a tautology and then we did some more press ups, if we could, because we were laughing so much.

I almost DIED the first time I was introduced to said Fow Sided Squahre. We line up in groups of four all facing the inside of this box with cones on the corners. Two parallel sides have bags to hit. The first side are holding the bags up, and on the second side, the bags are stand-alone sand bags. We will come back to these...

At the sound of the whistle, a non-bag side picks up the ball and does short "popping" passes to one another until the center of the square is reached. The ball is set down, and we line up ("Ready? Ready? Ready? UP!") and, as a line, because everything done in rugby is done in a line, smack into the girls holding bags. You push them back five meters (right, as they're pushing you back, as well), and then return to line up over the ball waiting for you in the center of the square again and--"Ready? Ready? Ready? UP!"--charge to the six foot tall bags of sand and tackle those until you push them over (yes, your legs do fly up in the air behind you when you hit something with such velocity). Then, you get up, return to the ball in the middle, making pops, and then ram into the team on the opposite side of the square that you started from, forming a "ruck." Once they win the ball, it's their turn.

Being the yellow dude at the bottom sucks. Al promises you never get stepped on. Al lies.

We do a few more agility, handling and fitness drills, and by the halfway mark of practice, my hamstrings are shit. Absolutely worthless. I try to run and they just give out. I suppose this has a lot to do with my not being active for over a year (thinking I was far too busy with school, HAH! Silly COW work), but you know what I did have on lock down? All the press ups! Doing push ups every night before bed, no matter who made fun of me, totally helped out. I'd say less than a third of the girls on the team could actually do them!

Then, after half mark, the girls who weren't playing in the weekend went and did passing and fitness on the turf, and the ones who were playing worked on the scrum machine.

Now, I'm not sure why the term "machine" is used to describe this torture device, as it is a slab on concrete, rolled into a wheel with blue pads sticking out of it, and a latch which, when released, the blue pads launch out and attack you. So, 'nuff said.

Since, apparently, I fit the need for a forward (this is ironic because, no way in hell do I meet forward standards, since forwards are the first line of defense... a.k.a. MASSIVE), naturally, I had to oppose this beastly "machine." I play position 8:

that's me ^                     

Basically, 1, 2 and 3 bind, which is a really interesting process, because 1 and 3 actually are holding on so tightly to 2's pants that she can't breath, and she's basically lifted off the ground by her trousers. She shouts: "BIND!...CROUCH!...TOUCH!...ENGAGE!" and the three of them ram into the blue pads. Then, 4 and 5 come up behind them, and, this is where the saying "Cheek to cheek" comes from, and they nuzzle into 1, 2 and 3's backside and get cozy. Then 6 and 7 get on either side and provide support for the scrum. Then, I engage, cheek to cheek, with 4 and 5, girls I've come to know quite well, Mariam and Iovannah.

The ball is in the middle of the two teams 1, 2 and 3 players, and 2's job is to kick it behind her with her foot, toward 4, 5, 6 and 7, and my job is to stop/control it until another offensive player on our team can come and grab it and take off.

Also, it was raining all practice. Pouring.

But, basically, rugby is awesome. All the girls are so sweet and even our touch team Teddy Hall captain plays, and she picks me up from Dawson and we walk to practice together :) The team is entirely supportive of my never having played before, and do their best to yell instructions to me, and do the right amount of pushing to get me to warm up to the sport. So, thanks Blues, you're quite wonderful.

After practice, I went and bought some "stash" which is basically team gear. I got a pair of windbreaker pants (I mean, trousers), rugby shorts (which are strong enough to lift you into the air, NO give/stretch in these puppies), and a shirt. In the states, you usually buy your gear in the middle or towards the end of the season, after you're more part of the team and have proved yourself capable. When I asked the girls if I was supposed to buy gear, they were like "Oh my GOD, Rachel! OF COURSE! Don't you want Blues gear?! Show everyone you're a part of the team?!"

So, now I am a part of the team. And it's an amazing feeling. I haven't been part of a team like this before ever. I played ice hockey in high school, but there was no where near as much unity as there is in a team like this.

Rugby is played in a line. No one is in front of you, no one is behind you. You move as a cohesive unit. All drills, agility exercises, fitness tasks and contact drills are done as a whole. The team is a team. It is not a group of individuals.

My first game is Sunday, and I need to buy metal cleats (I mean, boots!), a scrum hat, tall navy blue socks, and some spandex shorts. I'm going to freeeeeezzee!

Oh (What A Night)

Last night was amazing, again.
Danny and I had a travel buddy reunion and went and saw The Portrait of Dorian Grey at the Oxford Playhouse for ten pounds. It was amazing. The portrait was an actual actor and whenever Dorian did something vain or killed or indulged, the portrait would come alive and crawl through the frame and be heinous with the main character. It gave me chills and it was really well done.

me and dan-dan in our front row seats!

Then, I got to show Danny and Sabrina what Teddy Hall was really like, and this was my favourite part of the night. We started at The Buttery with Fez, and then moved to the Half Moon, which is a pub right across from Dawson, so it's excellent because I can jet home whenever I like. Sabrina, Danny and Fez were getting along amazingly and we talked about physics (naturally) and astrology (finally, something Fez didn't know about!). Then, Matt and Jay and their mate Tom showed up, and they were rowdy and being quite rude (or, I guess, "humorous" in the British sense of comedy, still trying to see how brutally making for of one another qualifies as "getting along with your mates", haha), but hilarious none the less.

A few inappropriate text messages, swapping of drinks and Van Halen songs later, we discovered the Sailor Jerrys. That's right. Sailor. In the UK.

And, let me tell you, Sailor has never tasted better. :)


Today, I woke up super early (8:30) to run over to the JCR to watch New Zealand win the rugby wold cup! It was awesome, but I was surprised at the amount of French fans at Teddy Hall.
Then, most of the day was spent "relaxing," shoot, I mean reading in the library, and it ended with a nice dose of rugby.

I am in love with playing rugby.

And Jessie, the team captain, might be the sweetest thing on earth, so I totally feel comfortable being the noob and what not, throwing the ball like an idiot into the ground, and catching it and going "Now what?!" But they're all really patient with me, and even the men's captains that help us run our training sessions are so sweet and helpful. I really love the feel of Teddy Hall, it's all about one another. This is Oxford, and yet, I am able to, never having played before, be considered part of a rugby team. Wow.

I am so lucky to be here.

 

 

 

 

 

all souls, again, beautiful, on the way to the play house

Teddy Hall's library (aka, my house) and the graveyard in front of it from the 1100s

Apologies

I'm really sorry I have not been updating quite as frequently as I was when I was backpacking, but there is just quite a bit to do here.

Here, my weeks kind of look like this:
M                    T                    W                                 Th                   F                      S                    Sun       
weekend   tutorial   tutorial/weekend          weekend  weekend   weekend   weekend

Now, however, that you've all moaned and groaned and cursed my name for jealousy, let me redefine a weekend here, at Teddy Hall.

Weekend     
9 am, rugby
10, shower
10:30, brunch at Teddy Hall
11 to 11pm, LIBRARY
11:30, party.

Yes, at 9 am, there is rugby. I joined the uni team, which means I play touch rugby (which is quite like flag football back in the States) for Teddy Hall, and then I play (real, contact) rugby for the University of Oxford. I'm only on the seconds team, called the Panthers, but they say if I play every game and come to all the practices, I'll probably be ready for a real Uni game by the time the year is over! Hooray for broken bones!

Here are some of the "I am definitely in the right place" moments I've been having:
1. At the Buttery Tuesday night, calming Talie down about her future tutorial with Dr. King. We sit down, I buy her a pint, and we start discussing Utilitarianism. Fez, who was playing darts sits down, and pretty soon we're in a full out debate concerning Utilitarians, Utilitarianism, J. S. Mill, Jim the Botanist, and Divine Command Theory. We also invented our own term concerning morality, called "Circumstantial Absolutist," which, if you know anything about ethics is, rather hysterial.
2. At breakfast one morning, Fez asked me what I studied, and I told him "Philosophy" and he goes "Oh, God, you're rather close minded then, aren't you? Here's physics brain teaser:" and from now on, we eat breakfast or drink a pint and discuss physics. The science is quite growing on me!
3. In my last tutorial with Dr. King, he said that "this [my paper], definitely wasn't a bad thing, we're headed in the right direction." And, now, to the American student, this might sound like bad news. "Oh no, poor Rachel, she's probably crying all night." HECK NO. THIS IS PRAISE. This does not happen often, at Teddy Hall, nor from Dr. King.
4. Playing rugby and actually passing, and frantically running, and cutting steps short, and the sound of hands clapping around the ball, and hitting the mats, and already feeling the sense of a "team".
5. Going to the Buttery for study breaks, and needing a pint to understand your new "mates".
6. Cooking dinner and staying in with the Americans :)

All I Do is Work, Work, Work, No Matter What.

hooooo lordy.
Every day I'm strug-a-lin'.

The weekends though, let me tell ya, they make up for it.
(And, actually, not going to lie, I love all the work :) )

New Best Night Ever

That's right, I think I've finally had a night that tops them all so far.

Last night was our first formal at Teddy Hall. It was good fun, nice, small, quiet and intimate. We had to wear our robes, so it was especially Harry Potter-esque. We sipped wine and got made fun of (per usual) for having nasal-y accents, but the food was impeccable, and then, The Buttery.

The Buttery was BUMPING. So much fun. Talie, Isabel, Lizzie and I met up with some freshers and some real, living, breathing, actual Teddy Hall third years. Finally the guys our age.

We played pennies, let Fez give us physics brain teasers, talked about God, rugby, learned how to tie bow-ties and discussed penny-farthing (yes, someone here actually has one).

Then, when we were all rowdy and having a good time, The Buttery began to close and we were forced outside, where we stumbled across Mike, who was doing football initiation. He was in nothing but an apron, and in his pocket he had a banana, lube, and a pregnancy test. Lord only knows.

Mike was dragged off to the graveyard, and we made our way across the Magdalen bridge to a pub really close to Dawson. There, we further discussed penny-farthing, Dr King, PPE, beer with tequila in it,  more rugby, how to properly throw a high heel like a rugby ball, and lithpth, I mean, lisps.

All in all, it was a great night, and I think I can speak for all of us americans, when I say it was our first, real Oxfordian night.

me and Lizzie before Formal Hall (photocred: Lizzie)

me, Isabel, Lizzie, Talie and Alice. And oh, that's Tom, in the back there. Can you see him? (photocred: Lizzie)

Fez, the physicist and Isabel, the... not? :P (photocred: Lizzie)

Talie, Isabel, Football-Initiation-Mike, Lizzie, Nick and me out front of the graveyard :) (photocred: Lizzie)

Lists Make Me Feel Better.

Another List Post. Sorry, but they help!

My Reminder List.
This list is to help me remember things I need to do for myself. Things I know will make me a better person, a happier person, and more holistic one.
1. Exercise. I joined the Teddy Hall rugby and football teams, and, while it is ok for me to drop one if my studies get too toilsome, I do want to remain active.
2. Read every day. Not only the books I "have" to read for my tutorials, but other stuff too. Like the news, old journal entries and poems I forgot I loved.
3. Have patience. Our crew is amazing but big, and we all love each other.
4. Keep moving on, no looking back; live for the moment. This is the experience of a lifetime, and I will not let anything from home, from the past, from the future, from the internet, from myself interfere with that.
5. Notice the beauty in everything. The buildings, the lectures, the people, the different accents from around the world, the quietness, the tea shops, the food...
6. The food: don't eat as much! I cannot continue to eat a full baguette every day. Don't get me wrong, discovering them was the best (* Please refer to my "Baguette of the Week" List, below), however, I do need to take heed in how often I reward myself with one. And also scones. Oh, and also chocolate croissants. As well as cider. Eek! Food here is awesome, I don't know who the heck told me otherwise!
7. Keep mingling with the local students! No matter how awkward I feel, or stupid about my american accent, or self-concsious I am of "talking with REAL Oxford students." Tom, Jay, Chris, Sam and Fez can really like me, it wouldn't be ludicrous like I sometimes let myself think it would be. I have to remember that. Friends can be friends, I need not be so intimidated.
8. Find more beautiful music to listen to. In concert halls, and through my headphones.

Baguette of the Week List.
Yes, you read right. I am obsessed with baguettes. I know they're just samichs on thick, toasty, wonderfully grained rolls, but, still, they're awesome.
Week 1 (Manchester, Newcastle): The meat pie/sausage roll.
Week 2 (Edinburgh, Belfast): Ham'n brie.
Week 3 (Belfast, Dublin): Ham, Salami, Pepperoni, green peppers, lettuce, tomato and American.
Week 4 (London, Oxford): Italian salami, onions, brie, lettuce, peppers.

And, officially,
The To-Do List:
1. Get some clothes at Primark.
2. Finish Crime and Punishment (Dr Baine)
3. Register at the Slovik Languages, Modern Languages, Russian and English libraries.
4. Buy cleats (Oh, I mean, "boots").
5. Get measured for my robes for Formal!
6. Find a "anything that's dead" costume for the Bop.
7. Finish Descartes' Meditations and start thinking about the man upstairs (Dr King)

Dr Baines,

That was absolutely absurd.

Sincerely,
Rachel

So Long, So Highs

Today was a beautiful day.

After dancing all night with all of these wonderful people I've met, I woke early, exercised, got some essentials at Sainsbury's (Cheerios, no doubt), ate a simple breakfast of yogurt and cereal and just stayed in my room, in my spandex and Teddy Hall fleece, and read.

Reading Descartes, you really do need to meditate and think about yourself, who you are, how you are, what makes you who and how you are, and it has been a really amazing experience for me. I miss studying, and I miss what the Dean of Teddy Hall was saying about being engaged, and really struggling, fighting and interacting with my work.

To really make you feel the beauty of my day, I'm going to steal one of Milly's photos of Oxford and hope you just sigh with the loveliness of it :)

 

photocred: Milly Hughes.

I think I'm going to read and write some more, grab dinner at college with some girls, and then maybe settle down at the Oxford Rendezvous (a local coffee shop) for a quiet night with Descartes.

There's no way I could ever go back to the COW.

[Almost] All is Right in the World.

I have my books, my notebooks, my word documents, my preview files, my dates for lectures and tutorials, my assignment, my Bodelian card, my to-do list, my Teddy Hall fleece, my tea and scones, my friends, my visa, and the first Teddy Hall dance (or "bop," if you will) is tonight.

Does it get much better?

Oh, I also have this:

 

So no, actually, I don't think it gets much better.

Maybe it could a little, but, y'never know :)

Haterz Gonna Hate!

 

Last night, I was sad for a second...

...and then I went out with really awesome people.

And it was awesome.

I love Teddy Hall. And Lizzie. And Isabell, Talie, Milly, Mike, Tom, Sam, Jenna, Other Tom, Green Pants Harry, Beth, Ryan, Sebastian, Janosz and Nick.

Happy Birthday, Mike!

"Teddy" "Hall" "Teddy" "Hall" "TEDDY TEDDY" "HALL HALL"

Here's a bit about where I am physically and mentally.

St Edmund Hall is one of the oldest colleges at Oxford. They think it was formed sometime around 1152 (which makes it older than the oldest known pub in Ireland, The Brazen Head). About fifty years or so later, the first written documents of proof of teaching were found.

St Edmund Hall is also known as Teddy Hall. It is also one of the smallest colleges, having around 400 students both under- and post-graduates. Our colours are like Gryffindor's, gold and maroon, yet our mascot has a bird akin to a raven on it.

 

However, from what I've understood through our inductions and the formal dinner last night, Teddy Hall is for the best of the best, and it sounds more like Ravenclaw to me, beg my Harry Potter.

I have noticed that Teddy Hall's inductions have mainly concerned two things (apart, of course from safety and security, as well), and those are namely, to maintain being the best academically and in as many other facets of our lives cultivated through the college, and also to be mentally sound. The Dean's welcome today echoed these two concepts for forty five minutes, and,  just now, I have realized, as I am sitting down to begin my first essay, that Teddy Hall is a place where students are pushed. Here, the pressure to be the best of the best exists, and it has a very tangible presence. Like Dr King (my Philosophy tutor) said last night, "I'm only kind the first session, then I expect nothing but your best, of course, but, not the best in general, as that is simply unobtainable in a single term."  Chortle, chortle, chortle.

Here, I, and we, will be challenged unlike anything we have ever experienced before. No amount of parental pressure, peer pressure, academic pressure, personal pressure has ever amounted to the feeling of pressure I feel now. This is a physical pressure, that you can feel in your knees and stomach that comes via the eyes of all of the other students around you. They're the best, are you? This is the kind of mental pressure that evokes physical pressure and incites anxiety, euphoria and immense discomfort. This is a testing kind of pressure.

But yes, I think this is the kind of pressure that fuels great minds. The kind of pressure that motivates from within and burns with a desire to catch you aflame and transform you.

And I am ready.

Dark Blue, Dark Blue, Have You Ever Been Alone in a Crowded Room?

Wow. I am here. I did it.

As I sit in my room on Dawson Street, even though I've been here three days, the fact that I am here, at Oxford, still manages to throw me into awe.

The title of the post has a lot of significance. Firstly, Dark Blue can refer to the Oxford Blue, our school colour. Secondly, orientation (known as Freshers Week, here) is so intimidating. We had a lecture yesterday and this is what was declared:

"Oxford is only for the best."

... excluding myself. I hope I have the intellect to keep up with these people... Thirdly, someone reminded me that I love Jack's Mannequin :)

Anyway. I belong to St Edmund Hall within the University of Oxford. St Edmund is also amicably known as Teddy's or Teddy Hall. Everyone here is friendly and has everyone's interest in mind, and even our Freshers t-shirts manifest this.

Teddy Hall itself is off of Queen's Street, close to the City Centre.




Must go to formal dinner, I will update more later!

---------------------------------------Four Hours Later---------------------------------

Holy Shit. (Pardon my French.)

I met my tutor (professor) for drinks tonight and he unloaded an eight pager essay on me concerning Descartes' First Centainty.
OMG.
More later, out to the Buttery (Teddy Hall's pub) for Freshers' Night!

---------------------------------------Four Hours Later---------------------------------

So, earlier tonight, I was invited to drinks with the PPE faculty (which, in the States, would be known as the Philosophy, Politics and Economics department), upon which I sipped champagne with my philosophy tutor Peter King. Our introductory comments went a little something like this:

"Nice to finally meet you, Rachel. Have you checked your pigeon hole?" (our mail boxes are called that here)
"Oh, yes, I have, about an hour ago"
"Well, check again, I've just put a 2,000 word assignment in there about a half hour ago. Have you read Descartes before?"
"Oh... no, I haven't yet, sir."
"Better get going, then!"

Oh, wow. I'm screwed. It's the "0th week" here (orientation week), and I'm already stressed. Eeek!

Anyway, after drinks, we made our way down to the dinning hall for a formal dinner and it was fantastic. The food was AMAZING! And, we get a class of nice wine with every course. All the tutors were wearing their Harry Potter-esque robes, and again, as we took the Teddy Oath with the principle, we were reminded that we were the "best." Gosh, I'm sure to be Teddy's biggest mistake!

I know there is a lot more I want to update about, but right now I'm quite overwhelmed with the TEN books I ought read by next Wednesday and the essay I have to write. Also,  I just came back from The Cellar, which is a club Teddy Hall students frequent quite a lot. Green Pants Harry, Tom and Pete were there, the blokes we met the first night in their third year of the master programs. Sweet, sweet, brits :)

Anyway, I'm off to bed for more Freshers' activities tomorrow! I'll leave you with some beautiful photos of All Souls College (a philosophy and theology masters college which I will most definitely apply to post-Wooster), and the Radcliffe camera, where Zach and Lizzie and I had lunch the other day.

It is so lovely here. I don't think I'd ever like to go back.

The Globe

Guys, today was magical.

I saw a play at The Globe.
I am too tired to write about it now, and I have to get up super early tomorrow to head to Oxford, but I will post soon with pictures. It was so amazing.

Oh, This Has Gotta Be the Good Life

Yesterday was beautiful.

The night before, Annie Hunter walked out of the elevator in the Thistle Garden Hotel and she met the real Rachel. For much of the year before, I had been someone else, even unrecognizable to myself, until just a few days ago.
We spent some quality time at a nice English pub called "The Swan," similar too The Swan that Patrick Whitmore takes me to in Manchester. There, we hung out with this boy she went to high school with named Brian, who is also on the road to re-discovering who he really is. We connected immensely. The three of us drank and were merry and could not believe this was all really happening.

Anyway, more about yesterday (as it was, quite beautiful!). Annie and I woke up at five am the next morning. For her, the culprit was jet lag, for me, the culprit was excitement, astonishment, and a sense of revelry. One of my best friends was back, I was back, we were in London, and I was about to witness her embarkation on the first leg of her adventure.

At five, we caught up, laying in the dark and laughing. By seven, our stomachs were raging and we went to the complimentary breakfast given to us by the hotel. HELLO chocolate croissants! Then, as waves of jet lag hit her again, a walk to Hyde Park was in order for me.

It was so refreshing, being with my friend, making new ones, and having total confidence in the person I was introducing them to, myself. How could I have forgotten so easily who I had become over the course of my life? Over Africa, China, over the schools I went to, the people I met? Ah, we can be so silly sometimes.

So, so silly.